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nkurekqk5
Aug 18, 2023
1 min read

During the past five years, I have been confronting my shadowy past of childhood abuse. For a long time I would wake at 4 in the morning, the wind or rain rattling the window, and I felt sure someone was breaking in. I would hear a voice calling me harshly, or sometimes sweetly; or there would be a knock at the door and my bed would rattle. Sometimes it was my cat trying to get out, but more often it was a ghostly memory of my father following me into my bedroom, taking off his belt, swinging indiscriminate blows that hit every part of my body. Reliving these memories, I would spend hours, even days, curled under the covers, shutting out the world. Our regular double bed seemed too small, and I would push my husband away, not trusting his love, his touch. Often I would go to another bed in the house to sleep. I would dream of sadistic attackers, dark streets, innocent animals running from danger.

I agree that intuitively there is a qualitative difference between animals and humans though. I think that very few people would rather save the lives of say 1000 cows than of one person (assuming that that action affects nobody else), so putting both on one scale where the worth of a human life is simply a multiple of that of a cow life does not make sense either.